Fasting from thoughts

So in this holy month of Ramadan, I’m trying to fast from thoughts of anger and sadness. I don’t know if it’s just me, but sometimes I feel sad and for reasons even unbeknownst to myself. I get angry at people when they do certain things and say certain things. I think sometimes that these are triggers from my childhood of abuse. I find myself trying to understand these triggers of sadness and anger. I want to get to know the root of these issues so that I can fast in peace.

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In the Aftermath of Abuse, Part 1 – Victims and Predators

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Frost covered rose, Author 3268zauber (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

” ‘Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father…’ ” (Matt. 18: 10).

Each year, some six million children in the United States are sexually or physically abused.

This 6-part series will explore the emotional and spiritual ramifications of abuse, with a view toward assisting the survivors of abuse and those who care for them in dealing with its long-term effects.

Those of us who have decades of experience with abuse and its aftermath are all too familiar with these details.  But for each new generation of victims, these truths must be restated.

It must be said at the outset that children are NEVER responsible for the abuse inflicted upon them. The idea of a “bad” or “seductive” child…

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In the Aftermath of Abuse, Part 2 – Guilt and Shame

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

Crying child, Author Asad Amjad ChangEzi (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

‘If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in Me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea’ ” (Matt. 18: 6).

It is easier for children to believe they “deserve” the evil done to them, than to take in the fact an adult who should care for them actually has little or no regard for their well-being.

The Statute of Limitations and other obstacles can make it difficult to hold child abusers and molesters accountable legally.  Even with a conviction, however, the feeling of “sinfulness” may rebound from an abuser to his victims.

This in no way implies that they were at fault.  Victims, however, relive the trauma of having been treated as worthless. They are often left with…

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Divestment

Definition of divest

transitive verb
1a : to deprive or dispossess especially of property, authority, or title

  • divesting assets to raise capital

  • was divested of his rights
  • divesting herself of all her worldly possessions

  • encouraged the university to divest itself from fossil fuels

I

must divest. Take away the pain. I will divest. Speaking on it helps me heal. It’s reveal time. See the bigger picture. Backlash will come, but this too shall pass.

Conversations with my Parents #2

Though this one came first…

The morning after. A conversation with my father.

Why did you do it? You didn’t have to say names. Why did you name your abuser on Facebook? Do you feel better now that you did that? Why did you not say anything?

Me: But I did say something, you knew, but the world didn’t. Yes I do feel better and with time I will feel better.

My 💓…

I was a child. Why didn’t you protect me? Why didn’t you protect me? Why didn’t you protect me?

Conversations With My Parents

Text Message # 1:

Seal the Pandora’s box and move on. This is what my mother told me after I acknowledged my truth on Facebook via a text message.

FIRST OF ALL…

You don’t get to tell me when to “Seal the Pandora’s Box” You don’t tell me when I get to heal. You can’t tell me to let it go. But you did. My own parents. I will not move on, on your time. But I will move on from you.